Here are a selection of jokes for you to enjoy over Purim! They are all very old and very frequently-told, but there may be some you have not heard before. Purim is a good time for telling jokes, so make the most of it and tell as many as you can!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Police who?
P'lease open the door before I climb through the window!!
What is black and white and read all over?

A newspaper!
Q. How do you know if there's been an elephant in the 'fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter!
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine?
* * *
A Flat Minor
What did the ice-cream say when the people left the room?
Oh no, they've desserted me!
Patient: Dr, I feel like a bridge!
Doctor: Why? What's come over you?
Patient: Three buses and a motorbike!
Q: What's the fastest thing in the world?
A:Milk - it's past-your-eyes before you see it!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner!
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Amos Who?
A Mosquito!
Along the street were walking three tomatoes, a Daddy Tomato, a Mummy Tomato and a Baby Tomato. What did the Daddy Tomato say to the Baby Tomato?
Q: Why do they only have Aspirin in the jungle?
A: Because the parrots-et-em-all!
Q: What do you get if you drop a piano on an army barracks?
A: A Flat Major!
How do you get five elephants into a mini?
Two in the front, two in the back and one on the roof-rack!
Q: Why was 6 scared?
A: Because 7 8 9!
Where does the astronaut park his space-ship?
At the meteorite!
Q: What did the scarf say to the woolly hat?

A: You go on a head and I'll hang around!
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: You're too young to smoke!
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard!
Q: What do pigs put on cuts and bruises?
A: Oink-ment!
What is black and white and red all over?
A sun-burned zebra!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
An who?
Another Mosquito!!
What do a king and piece of wood have in common?
They are both rulers!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Yeta who?
Yet another Mosquito!!!

We do hope that we have not broken copyright by putting these jokes on our website. We have been brought up with these jokes to the extent that we cannot remember when we did not know them! We have no idea where they come from and who (if anyone!) owns the copyright. Please contact us if you know who owns copyright!

Return to Fun Things To Do!